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Sexual escapades - Warlord - 07-06-2019 11:04 AM

I'm starting this thread because I was starting to derail Lloyd's "Reason to be cheerful" thread for a second time.

Basically we kind of veered off onto the topic of sex, and I talked about a chick I banged at a Christmas party once. (I will repost that story below.)

If anyone else has a hot, funny, or embarrassing sex story and you're man enough to share it, this is the place. I think maybe in my next post I will talk about a shameful episode where I ejaculated prematurely. (The only time it has ever happened, in my defense.)

Anyway, this is the first story that I originally posted in the other topic:

First up before I begin, my apologies that I have to be vague about the occupational aspects of the story, as I actually still have a contract with the company in question (among others), and obviously don't want to muck things up in that regard.

Secondly forgive my poor story-telling skills. I could try to spice it up, but would rather just tell it the way it happened. Anyway, let's get to it.

So this is the story about Rachel. She worked for one of the companies we had a contract with in Shanghai. I'd go to their building at least once a week. I had my own little office area there.

She wasn't my normal type of girl, meaning she didn't have big tits. In fact, she probably had the smallest of any girl I've ever been with.

When we first met, I had been in China for a few years, and was already at peak sexuality there. I had almost no interest in her. It was a slow burn.

Maybe the first thing that happened is one day when we were passing each other in the hall, and I noticed her pants were unbuttoned and unzipped, like maybe she had done undone them when she was sitting down and just forgot. (They were tight pants.) One of the other girls from the office said "Rachel, your pants are undone."

She looked at me and smiled and said, "Maybe I was hoping something would happen."

I chuckled and kept moving, but that was the kernel of it all, I think. That was the thing that first put her even remotely on my sexual radar. Chinese girls are rarely even that overtly sexual.

Another time when I came to the office she was really down. Said her boyfriend had dumped her. I asked if there was anything I could do. She said, "Maybe you can pretend to be my boyfriend." She said it half joking. We talked a bit more and I said she could use my office any time I wasn't there, if she ever needed to get away from everything for just a bit.

Well, from then on, any time I came to the building, there she'd be at my desk, with her perfect little ass in my chair. With her shoes off. I'm not a foot man at all, but she had absolutely beautiful, perfect feet. It's weird, but it was part of what heightened my attraction to her. She'd have her shoes off, with her legs folded up in my seat.

One time I came in and she hopped up, but I told her no, no, it was okay. She couldn't find her shoes so I bent down and got them from underneath the desk and put them on her feet. It was little shit like this that made this chase so memorable for me, even now.

Another time she had on these super short lace shorts that were so fucking short her ass cheeks were hanging out the bottom. She asked if I liked them. “They’re okay,” I said. “But I can only see half your fucking ass cheeks.” She laughed kind of embarrassed and pulled them down a little bit, and I was like, what the fuck are you doing? Pull them back up! And then I tugged at them playfully.

Shit like this happened pretty routinely. Like I said, she was very overtly sexual in a way most Chinese girls aren't. She would catch me looking at other women in the office and say, "she's really hot, right?" or something like that. And I never felt like she was jealous or saying it to test me on anything.

The night I finally banged her was when we had a Christmas party to celebrate our first year in business together. By fate or fortuitous circumstance, I was asked if I could work with Rachel on a presentation we had to give to the staff and to some of our clients. I'm there in my stupid tux, and she shows up in this incredible fucking white dress, sleeveless and really short, with white pumps, and she is smoking hot. Her, in that moment, was seared into my brain. I was aroused from the word go. The sexual tension was maddening.

We kept touching each other undercover. Like, I would walk by her, and just angle myself dick to ass and grab her hips. She would lean over me from behind, hands on my shoulders, her hair cascading over me. Fucking A, man, I can't even think of it now without it having that same fucking effect.

When they took a company picture of all us, I don't know why, I just turned my head and kissed her on the cheek as they took the picture. Anyway, so this shit goes on for hours as the stupid party wears on, and my dick is fucking screaming at me. It is fucking relentless.

Finally the party is over and it's almost time to go. In the very back there was a back office and inside that office was a smaller room that they used as a changing room for the receptionists to get dressed before and after work. I don't know how we got separated, but Rachel was already back there when I got there. She was talking to one of the other girls so I didn't say shit, I just went to get dressed but the door was closed. I knocked and some other girls were in there changing so I went back to where Rachel was.

"Why did you knock? You should have just went in" she said. "Why?" I asked. I knew what she was hinting at, but wanted to make her say it. "Maybe something good would have happened," she said.

So at that moment the girls that were in the changing room came out and I started to walk back and I said "Come on, Rachel. Let's go."

I don't know why, maybe just a language issue, but then she said, "Can I go with you?" and I said "Yeah! Let's go!"

And then the other girls in the back office all made that stupid sound girls make, "Waaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!". Like shock, surprise, and are you gonna do it?

By that time her face is beet red, eyes glittering. And she's like, "Leave the door unlocked. Maybe something good will happen."

Anyway, so I go back and I'm getting undressed. Fucking SLOWLY. Door is fucking unlocked. And I'm fucking waiting. And thinking no way she does it. She won't come in. I hear the girls all leave the back office while I'm still getting dressed and it's quiet out there. Like a fucking graveyard. And I just know she took off. Terrible. Fuck my life.

And then I hear a knock on the door. Very timid knock. And my throat is in my chest. Is it her, or some other fucktard? "Yeah?" I said.

No answer. Fuck!

"Yeah!" I said louder. Still nothing. Son of a bitch.

"Come in!" I shout. And when I think about it, what a dumb thing to say. I'm in my boxers and t-shirt here telling some possible random stranger to come in. But the door opens and it's her.

My friends, I will tell you, that was absolutely one of the best fucks in my entire life. The long, excruciating wait. The tension. The build up. And the sweet release.

For some time after that I used to bang her every time I went to their office. Everywhere. My office. The back office. The meeting room. The dressing room. A fucking janitor's closet, which was a near disaster.

I think literally everyone knew. And I didn't give two shits. Her boss called me into his office one day and said, and I quote: "I don't care what you do with that girl. Please just don't let the clients see." And that was the end of the discussion.

She was so fucking awesome that I was legitimately depressed when recently I heard she had gotten married to some geek and shit out a kid. I don't know why. I am and was then married, and there was no way in hell we would ever be anything more than fuck buddies, but Lord Almighty, what an incredible piece of ass. It's a cruel and unfair world where a man can only marry one woman.

Well, I've got other stories for other days, but I can't help but feel a little blue every time I think of her.


RE: Sexual escapades - JONdaCON - 07-07-2019 05:34 PM

Good Story WAR. Those "catch you off guard" ones are some of the best, pleasant surprises.

BOY do I have stories... Hmm, where to start with my sexscapades? Lol


RE: Sexual escapades - the ollie reed fan club - 07-07-2019 05:50 PM

OK so here goes one for me, although to be fair I'm really waiting for Jon to jump on this thread.

I'll tell a story about the raunchiest first date I ever had. Initially I'd met this girl down at my local pub in Holland Park (London for those that don't know) she'd been with her friends and me with mine. We'd had a little make out session just before closing time and swapped numbers. Turns out her father used to be a merchant banker and they now lived on the 14th floor of a mansion block close by, while she attended Oxford studying law. In other words a nice girl, a good girl.........or so I thought.

We spoke on the phone a couple of times and agreed to meet the following Friday for our first proper date. met at a boozer and talked for a bit, conversation was good and we decided to go the movies. We ended seeing Fight Club which was I guess an odd choice for first date movie but she was more than just your run of the mill bimbo and we both liked David Fincher.

Anyhoo my first clue that she may be a bit of a goer was when we got to the movie. The place was packed, people either side of us but when the lights go do she grabs my hand and puts it down her pants. I proceed to finger blast the shit out of her and then a bit later she reciprocates by massaging my cock into oblivion. I don't remember a heap about the film from that first viewing.

We then repair to our local pub where she proceeds to starting licking my fingers and sucking my face off. Now here I am in a bit of a dilemma, to be honest when setting up the date I really wasn't expecting things to advance with quite this level of speed and I'd chosen a Friday night purely because it was a Friday night, the reality was I had to be up for work by 5am the next day. I know I'm missing out on a sure thing by calling a fairly early night, but at the same time she's gorgeous, long wavy blond hair, light azure blue eyes and a nice solid rack.

So we leave the bar we're in and I'm going to walk her home at least which is about 10 mins from said bar. Just beside the bar is an alleyway which we somehow end up down and we start going at it. All of s sudden she turns her back to me, pants her hands on the alleyway wall and gives me the look over her shoulder. I know that look.

I pull down her pants, and start pounding her from behind. I'd had outdoor sex plenty of times but never in such close proximity to the general public. It was pretty intense and a lot of fun.

So after that session concludes we wander back to her place. I stop at the outside door to the mansion block but she then says 'aren't you going to walk me to my door?' Sure I think so we get in the lift. It is one of those old small 2-3 person lifts with the concertina door that you see in the old movies.

We're riding up the lift when she smiles knowingly and pulls the concertina door open which immediately stops the lift between floors. Know I know why she wanted me to 'walk her to her door.' She drops to her knees and starts sucking me off, this lift has mirrors on 2 sides which means I get to stand there watching her do her thing. At this moment I don't think I'ever enjoyed life more. Eventually she gets up and we start banging again before we hear the 'click, click, click' of someone hitting one of the elevator buttons. We reassemble ourselves and head off to her flat.

Once inside she insists on going to the kitchen where we once again get into it, this chick has one helluva sexual appetite. Once again her knees hit the floor and she starts swallowing me like my cock is a piece of candy she hasn't had in a long time. As it turns out she likes facials and urges me to drop a load on her face. as I'm sure you know fellas it's not as simple as firing on command and I'm starting to feel kinda antsy being that her parents (but mainly her father) whom I've never met before are going to walk in at any moment. At the absolute moment I finally deliver I hear a stirring from the other end of the flat and sure enough her old man is rousing himself up for some reason or another. My pants are on so damn quick as I slither out the front door at lightening speed.

That girl went on to become my girlfriend and I still think about her often.

Thank you, next.

EDIT: While writing this Jon actually DID jump on this thread, LOL.


RE: Sexual escapades - ViperSniper - 07-08-2019 04:18 AM

Everything I write is true! Exactly how it happened with no sugar on top!!!!




Was out n about 1 night & had been a while since I've done so at that point. I was at the rooftop of a bar having a smoke & saw some chic from one end, came all the way to ask me for a light. Before she even opened her mouth, I knew what she was going to ask for..and knew she already had one!

Straight off the bat, I also knew she wanted more than just a lighter!

We decided to go back to her house & after hitting it off even more with her housemate, the chic noticed and pulled me into her room..

Now..It's worth pointing out that this chic was by far the fattest chic I've ever been with! Like..FAT!!! But she had 2 of 2 things that every fat chic should at the very least have which is fat tits and a cute face!

She had gigantic tits..like..each tit was bigger than her actual head!! Like they were so big that when she was on her back..her tits would roll onto & cover her face. You could literally suffocate her with her own fleshed pillows!!

Well..things have gotten underway quite instantly, she was just as excited as I was!
I slowly put it in..it felt like bliss!!
Slowly put it in again..I knew tonight was not gonna be my night!..
Put it in again & unfortunately there was a bit of explaining to do to her (and now you guys).

It had been my longest drought ever & the show was over in no time!

Now I've got the fattest chic I've ever been with, giving me lip about how disappointed she was & acting like she's some catch!! Worst performance!!
























Yes..you read right! 3 thrusts & that it!!! uhhuh


RE: Sexual escapades - the ollie reed fan club - 07-08-2019 04:37 AM

(07-08-2019 04:18 AM)ViperSniper Wrote:  Everything I write is true! Exactly how it happened with no sugar on top!!!!




Was out n about 1 night & had been a while since I've done so at that point. I was at the rooftop of a bar having a smoke & saw some chic from one end, came all the way to ask me for a light. Before she even opened her mouth, I knew what she was going to ask for..and knew she already had one!

Straight off the bat, I also knew she wanted more than just a lighter!

We decided to go back to her house & after hitting it off even more with her housemate, the chic noticed and pulled me into her room..

Now..It's worth pointing out that this chic was by far the fattest chic I've ever been with! Like..FAT!!! But she had 2 of 2 things that every fat chic should at the very least have which is fat tits and a cute face!

She had gigantic tits..like..each tit was bigger than her actual head!! Like they were so big that when she was on her back..her tits would roll onto & cover her face. You could literally suffocate her with her own fleshed pillows!!

Well..things have gotten underway quite instantly, she was just as excited as I was!
I slowly put it in..it felt like bliss!!
Slowly put it in again..I knew tonight was not gonna be my night!..
Put it in again & unfortunately there was a bit of explaining to do to her (and now you guys).

It had been my longest drought ever & the show was over in no time!

Now I've got the fattest chic I've ever been with, giving me lip about how disappointed she was & acting like she's some catch!! Worst performance!!
























Yes..you read right! 3 thrusts & that it!!! uhhuh

Your expert use of exclamation points really captured the excitement of the moment. A couple of quick questions coz I kinda lost track. Did you bang the bird from the bar or the roomie? Why didn't you double down and got for a threesome? 3 strokes each, LOL OR 1 stroke for one girl and 2 for the other lucky one.

Good on you for admitting to 3 thrusts and out, I on the other hand have a problem the other way, haha. I can rut away like a demented goat for what seems like an eternity before delivering my load.


RE: Sexual escapades - ViperSniper - 07-08-2019 04:43 AM

(07-08-2019 04:37 AM)the ollie reed fan club Wrote:  Your expert use of exclamation points really captured the excitement of the moment. A couple of quick questions coz I kinda lost track. Did you bang the bird from the bar or the roomie? Why didn't you double down and got for a threesome? 3 strokes each, LOL OR 1 stroke for one girl and 2 for the other lucky one.

Nah I unfortunately ended up with the medicine ball shaped chic from the bar..her hot friend was laying on the couch, expecting her bf to get home. Plus, the plus sized one didn't seem like the sharing type!..

(07-08-2019 04:37 AM)the ollie reed fan club Wrote:  Your expert use of exclamation points really captured the excitement of the moment. A couple of quick questions coz I kinda lost track. Did you bang the bird from the bar or the roomie? Why didn't you double down and got for a threesome? 3 strokes each, LOL OR 1 stroke for one girl and 2 for the other lucky one.

Good on you for admitting to 3 thrusts and out, I on the other hand have a problem the other way, haha. I can rut away like a demented goat for what seems like an eternity before delivering my load.

Yes..3 thrusts is not my proudest moment. But I wouldn't admit that if I didn't know what I'm capable of!

I've had the problem the other way too, countless times!
I've even resorted to faking it twice just to finish up!!.


RE: Sexual escapades - lloyd mayflower - 07-08-2019 05:47 AM

I always enjoy this story, nothing majorly controversial, just tickles me.

One day I was out on a Saturday, as was my life at the time I had started drinking early, having been also out all night on Friday night. Cocaine and alcohol got me through admirably and once in a pre club bar me and my mate got talking to some females. Now the one that was obviously interested in more was a little bit heavy, but reasonably pretty. So it went on then I met her in the adjacent club and started the usual kissing, dancing bla bla bla. I was fucking wasted, but still got her number, having tried to get her back to mine but she pretty much said look, you are fucking shitfaced give me a shout during the week.

Well come Wednesday, once I had recovered from my various chemical imbalances I text her. No fucking about really, she just pretty much said I will come to yours, and il bring a toothbrush for the morning. Brilliant, guaranteed lay, not exactly a stunner but very passable.

So the knock on the door comes, I open it........


FUCK. ME.


What the fuck was I drinking/snorting?? Shes as wide as she is tall. The fucking tide wouldnt go out with this.... My face is surely painting a picture of disappointment! Nevertheless I think this is mega awkward but I can surely brass it out for a couple of hours then just pretend I am tired or something. So we sit on the couch, watxh some tv. Theres not much chat really IIRC, no fumbling. Nothing, just pure awkardness. Its getting late, and I am thinking surely this nightmare is over soon. She will get the messgae that the chemistry isnt there and leave.

Well she must have noticed the time too, because she got up off the couch, said to me "well are we going to bed then?" And also informed me that she had brought condoms because "I assumed you would want to fuck".

Perhaps against my better judgement given the awkwardness of the evening, but a decision I would defintely make again, I thought..... Fuck it! And off I went to have sex with this absolute fucking monster!


RE: Sexual escapades - Warlord - 07-08-2019 06:14 AM

Oh no you don’t, you little bastard. You better finish that story. You can’t leave us hanging now. You went porking and....? What the fuck happened next? How was it?

@Viper

Don’t worry, I’ve got a shameful premature pop story as well. Will share it when I’m at my PC later.


RE: Sexual escapades - lloyd mayflower - 07-08-2019 07:31 AM

Honestly cant really remember. It must have been pretty shit tbh. What I do remember is feeling pretty bad after it becsuse once the deed was done, obviously I just wanted her to go away, and she asked me if I could cuddle her. At that moment I felt pretty horrible. It wasnt the sex part that makes me laugh, more how off my memory of what she looked like turned out to be, then electing to fuck her anyway. Not that I did turn it down a lot of times, but I would certainly tell my younger self to fuck literally anyone.

On the premature popping thing, of course it has happened to me, but I dont think any instances that stand out as being particularly funny or shameful. My sex life over the years is annoyingly conventional tbh. I wouldnt say I have regrets per se, but I do sometimes wish I had spent more time chasing girls when I was younger. Easily said now right enough since I am older, wiser and more confident now than I was then.


RE: Sexual escapades - Warlord - 07-08-2019 12:10 PM

So this is my early ejaculation story. It happened with a client named Cindy. She was in her very early 20's. Unlike Rachel, Cindy was an instant attraction. She had huge, perfectly tanned/bronzed tits and skin, especially for a Chinese girl. Her hair was dyed a light kind of reddish/brown color. She had these pouty lips too that were just amazing. Her makeup was professional, her tits were on full display, and she had perfectly shaped legs. She was, at the time, and maybe even today, one of the sexiest girls I've ever met.

Actually I thought she was out of my league, even with me being a good looking white guy in China (which already puts you in unicorn territory.)

I was very self-conscious talking to her that first time. Every smooth line I had with previous clients felt stupid and hollow when I used them. If I made an impression of any kind on her I couldn't see it. Anyway, I gave her the spiel and that was that.

Every one of my buddies that I worked with was as enamored with her as me. We had these glass-walled offices that you could walk by and see through, and those idiots just kept walking by shaking their head that I was the lucky bastard in there consulting with her. Of course they also, as was our custom, did everything they could to distract me, make me laugh, or just do something in general to make me embarrass myself, lol.

Anyway, I'm done with the consultation and I'm like, fuck, welp, I'll never see her again.

A couple days later and they're like we got her, she's a VIP, and she wants you. HOLY shit. Unreal. You know, this is absolutely one of the reasons why I believe in God, no joke. Shit like this. I was so gutted thinking I would not see her again, she was that gorgeous. And as has happened so often in my life, when I really want something, I always seem to get it.

So anyway, I'll try to cut this a bit shorter and get to the action. It was pretty clear early on I had, against all expectations, apparently made a good impression on her. Here are some of the things that happened in general and specifically on the road to sex.

1.) If she wanted to talk, she came to the office, leaned on the counter or something else, and stared at me with those pouty lips. She never said anything. She would just stare at me until I stopped working, look over at her, and get up to go meet with her.

2.) One time I wasn't available to meet with her in the office, so she sent me a text and asked where I was. I said I was out with another client and I wouldn't be back in the office today. She asked if I was having fun, and I said no. She asked why, and then said, "Oh I know, because I'm not there."

3.) The first time we had lunch together she took my left hand, checked for a wedding ring, saw the wedding ring, and then turned it over so the diamond side was face down. When we got in the taxi to go back to the office, we were sitting in the back and she just turned her head, leaned over, and licked my cheek. Very suddenly, so I wasn't ready. She fucking licked me. I looked at her, she laughed, and then lunged forward and licked me again. Goddamn, boys. Goddamn.

4.) The licking thing happened more than once. I knew something was going to happen every time we got in a fucking taxi. Like, one time, she tried to reach towards my pants and tugged at the the waistband and asked me what color underwear I was wearing, and then started guessing. Of course I started talking about her underwear color and the dirty talk just went from there.

As we're talking she is leaning into me with her elbow and arm resting on my thigh, looking up at me. So I'm starting to get hard, and again, by divine intervention I guess, the taxi swerves and her arm slips off my thigh and onto my crotch, and she immediately feels my raging boner. So rather than remove her arm, she just starts to feel my boner, moving her arm back and forth across it. She's looking forward as she does this, so I can't make eye contact or be like what are you doing? She never uses her hand, I guess just to tease me or something. Anyway, that's a typical taxi ride with her.

5.) When we had sex (I mentioned this to Ollie before I think), she sent me an email with a selfie of her in a nightie from Victoria's Secret, and a screenshot of Google maps with directions from my office to the hotel she was staying in.

She had actually asked me before if I wanted to have sex with her. I don't remember exactly how she said it (never used the word sex), I just remember her touching my crotch and saying, "I want to kiss you there." I just laughed at the time because we were out in public walking back to my office after having lunch in the building next door.

So anyway, I go to the hotel and meet her and we hug, my dick pushing against her stomach, and she reminded me that I laughed at her the last time we talked about doing it, and said if I say no again, she's going to rape me. I did not say no.

She strips down to her panties (cheetah striped, if I remember correctly) and pulls out a condom from her purse. I toss it to the floor (fuck that shit) and get her panties off and get to work. Two things. One, her pussy is dripping. To this day, I have never been with a girl who was wetter. It was dripping down her thighs. Two, her tits were perfect, except she had small areolas, about the size of nickels, I guess. I like big areolas, so that is perhaps the one small criticism I might have of an otherwise perfect specimen. (Oh yeah, she was bald. Pussy was completely shaved. And she didn't have big pussy lips either. She basically just had a gash in her crotch and that was it. It was nice, let's put it that way.)

The minute I pushed into her she whispers in my ear, "faster, deeper." I, of course, oblige.

I bet you think this is where I nut and embarrass myself. No. No, sir. Not yet. In general, like Ollie, I can fuck a girl as long or short as I want. Literally. I'm not some badass with women by any stretch. I have an average sized weiner, if I had to guess. But control is (usually) something I have in spades.

So anyway, the first time we did it, I think was right around an hour. I had to get back to work so I couldn't push it much longer. Of course, she was absolutely shocked that I lasted that long. She had never been with a white guy before, and I reckon her Chinese boyfriend(s), as usual, probably nutted within seconds, if not before penetration. She was hanging all over me, being clingy as fuck after that, like she was absolutely in love.

I got out of there and came back the next day. I don't know what on God's green Earth happened. Maybe it was because I took the whole day off and was just expecting a sexual marathon or something, but I was rock fucking hard on the drive over to hotel. I have rarely ever been that hard. It was literally hurting, aching, throbbing.

I get there and she answers the door in that nightie and it comes right off. I'm on her like a rapist. I get in her and, maybe not in three thrusts like Viper, but not many more either. I'm in, and as requested, I go to push DEEP inside her, and I hit it at this perfect angle that has never again been duplicated. I am balls deep on the plunge, she gasps like I hit the G-spot, immediately starts orgasming, and I feel that tingle in my dick, and I know right then it's over. I pull out and blast her and it's all over before we even really got started.

She is shocked and can't hide it, especially after the day before. I don't even know what I said, if anything, but fuck was it embarrassing. She slayed me. Slayed me. I have never had that happen, before or since.

And then... and then... she goes down and starts blowing me. She's licking my cummy dick with her pussy juice on it, and then starts sucking. I would guess it was probably 5 minutes or less from the time I nutted to the time I was hard again. She got on top of me, impaled herself on my dick, and we were back at it. I never pushed that deep into her again, and we went all day. I got there at noon and it was getting dark outside when we finally finished.

And she was ragged. Hair disheveled, makeup sweated completely off, and her cheeks scratched raw from the stubble on my face. But man was it good. And though I was completely embarrassed and ashamed of our first go around, I feel like I was able to redeem myself by the end.

And that's the story of me ejaculating prematurely.

P.S. I forgot to mention something about Cindy. It has no bearing on the story whatsoever, but it was something she did that drove me crazy (in a good way.)

She always referred to herself in the third person. She would say or send me messages like “Cindy loves you”, “Cindy misses you.” “Do you miss Cindy?” “Do you ever think about Cindy?”

It made what is generally very annoying, typical female bullshit into really sweet, endearing, cute little exchanges.

P.P.S. Cindy was one of the girls Rachel said, “She’s hot, huh?” to me about.

I started fucking Cindy before Rachel, and Rachel knew I was fucking her when we started fucking.

Rachel didn’t care, but Cindy sure did. lol Different story, though. Don’t know why I even brought that last bit up, actually.