I need to vent....

[lloyd mayflower]

This probably isnt a vent. Because I am not angry. Much more like broken than angry. I dont talk to many people about my issues but I have posted a lot of them on here over the years. I thought 11 months ago after watching my mother take here last breath I had tasted the worst life could dish out, but wouldnt you just know life can always dish out worse.

1 week into a 3 week trip at work I found out my wife was pregnant. 4 days until I can go home I find out she has miscarried. Fuck me I thought being heartbroken was an overly dramatic term for movies n shit.

Im a rational person. I know that early i n a pregnancy is touch and go. I know its only a ball of cells, but it came into my life then left it again while I was hundreds of miles away from my wife. While all I could do was listen to her joy at impending motherhood turn into despair and desolation over the phone.

Worst thing thats ever happened in my life by far. And iv seen some shit.